It’s Not Me – It’s YOU


Dear Whitstable,

This is a hard letter to write.  We’ve been together a while.  We’ve had our ups and our downs.  But now it has to end.

I’m moving on.

We’ve grown apart.  It’s going nowhere.  I don’t even think we’d be better as friends.  We are, quite literally, in different places. I’m sorry, I just can’t any more.  I have nothing to say to you now.

If you love something, you must set it free.  So Whitstable – reach for the sky! Imagine you are Jonathan Livingstone Seagull! (But without the horrible religious subtext!)

It was good while it lasted.

Conrad Blaine


If you want to know who I really am, click on DOWN FROM LONDON

It’s been interesting. 🙂

Happy Halloween!


Kathy Lette @thehorsebridge


As you know, I think the Horsebridge is a bit, provincial artsy.  But even I had to admit they pulled the bunny out of the hat tonight.  The wife dragged me along for Kathy Lette’s book plugging ‘interview’.  I was vaguely aware who she was and only when I saw how many silver haired culture vultures there were there did I fully realise that I’d be spending AN HOUR AND A HALF  in a boiling room with menopausal women having hot flushes.

Sounds bad right?  Well looky here at this –


She. Is. Hot.

She did bang on a bit about how crap men can be but she said she loved us too.  Take it from me – this woman is a SALATIOUS HUSSY.  I love my wife, but, you know, we boys have fantasies too…

Kathy, if you ever fancy a snog, let me know.




This is her new book.  I won’t be reading it because I have a penis, but my wife will.  She got it signed.  I just liked how she thought I was a great bloke because I’d come along with Pippa.  Question – are Australian women good in bed?  Just wondering.