I’m back from our little juant to London and only just able to revisit last Sunday – my worst hangover in YEARS. As I’d said, I was more hammered than I thought, which is unsurprising when you factor in a total of nine solid hours at the lager-face. Pippa let me lie in until 10, which was very generous of her. It was one of those hangovers where I knew I couldn’t drive. One of those hangovers I had to over one eye just to navigate my house. Had I driven, I’d have crashed and died, maybe even ploughed through a dozen families of bewildered looking DFLs, miserabley staring at the torrential rain and wondering why they’d bothered.
Now, like so many men of my generation, I have a soft spot for old skool, proper vintage games. Stuff I could have only dreamed had been invented back in the 70s and 80s when I was an actual child. Well thanks to my love of Deli coffee, I had the good fortune to meet a gentleman that finds the rarest of rare consoles and games and sells them, mainly on e-bay, but also from a little lock up a stone’s throw from my cottage. Visit Retro Recyclers – it’s the business. Bonza! The combo of the awful weather and my monumental stonker of a headache froced me to the conclusion that that was the day the Universe meant me to seek out the ultimate of consoles – the Super Famicom. Oh yeah. I gave my new friend, Rexy a tinkle and an hour later, me and Miranda were there.
Well me and Rexy hit it off striaght away. He’s hilarious and uniquely local. And he talks very fast. So fast, so local, I had to ask my daughter to translate. I’m horrified she could, but it served a purpose. So his emporium – a cornucopia of gaming fun. And the Famicon – the Holy Grail of consoles. I gave my phone to Miranda to photograph the momentous event, while we cut the deal. It felt edgy, a bit East End arches.
Ooh! A Nes! I was back in my Uni dorm, drinking cider, avoiding my deadlines – on this! So tempting…
Rexy bargaining hard. He knows his shit.
Tempted to treat myself to the whole family! Nes, Snes and Famicom. Except if Pippa ever found out, she’d chop my testicles off.
But – BUT! Arrg! So hard!!
The Famicom won through. I had to barter. I offered him 200, he got me down to 50. What a guy!
Safe as, fam. Yeah blud.
Shorty after my purchase, Pippa summond us for lunch. A treat as I was suffering – V.C. Jones for sit down fish and chips. YUSS! Miranda moaned a bit about fat and carbs so we let her go home and eat a lettuce leaf. I felt really guilty about snoring the night before so I ducked into iS-2Gallery (what does that actually mean? Is is code?) to get Pippa a gift by way of an apology. I’m certain the gent in there thought I was going to rob the place. He was very friendly but once I started talking, I pulled a whitey and had to leave I was heaving so much.
This woman runs the place. She’s called Anne Jones. We’ve become quite pally over the years, at least until my daughters refused to eat food. I was pretty ill here. I was trying to think of something that would give the vital nutrients I’d need to mend. I was asking if she knew the omega 3/6/9 content of her fish and chips. She’s very nice, but very busy.
I remembered! Talapia! That’s what we all ought to be eating! Anne didn’t have any though. She reminded me, again that they have fish and chips and you can order that either, seperate, or together.
I fell asleep for a while. It was that or I puked on her shoes. I dreamt about my Famicom while Pip took these pretentious shots. Love V.C. Jones…
Thankfully Anne Jones artfully used the tip of her biro in my ear to awaken me and I was able to make the correct ordering selection – would you believe it? Cod and chips with mushy peas!
It was so good, I rested my eyes for a while so Pippa could read the Telegraph (obvs, she had to bring it in – they only had the Mail and the Sun, Lol!)
So that was the aftermath of the stag night. Christ knows what the wedding will be like. I’m still trying to get out of it.
Off to play Street Fighter, Earth Worm Jim and Castlevania. Baddabing!